Finally, 13 years ago, I realized that if anyone was going to build the place I dreamed of, it would have to be me. When I started working on Pink Sofa, I consulted with lesbians all over the world to find out what they valued in a community.
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It’s not your style to just walk up and start asking questions or asking for a date. You feel good because you now know something about her, but you haven’t even said hello to her yet. If you want a date with her, you’re going to have to figure out how to ask her. Another darling younger woman who I’d known and seen around for years asked me out by text after we’d seen each other casually at a local park during a gay rights rally. A whole lot of them turned up and we were having a great time.
The first thing we all do is ask around to learn more about her. When I had the experience of much younger women asking me out (yes, it has happened a few times), I loved the attention. We met at a meetup event and she came over and started talking to me. The doorbell rang later in the evening and I went to open it and met a beautiful younger woman I’d never seen before. We talked a bit and I went on to my hostess duties.
You can even just go right for it and ask her if she’s single and available for a drink or coffee and a one-on-one conversation. It was sweet but not destined to be a relationship.
If you’re like most of us, you’re a little on the shy side and sort of introverted. All that information can feel good because it creates some sense of safety. Once I had a party at my house and invited every single lesbian I knew in the city.